Quality Time
by Shaddic
Summary: Zoey spends time with Mike's personalities, Chester, Svetlana, Vito, and Manitoba Smith, to see if maybe they can get along. One-shot.


_**Author's Note:** I made the mistake of writing We Were His Protectors before we knew Mal, and so certain parts of him, especially his name, are way off. I would go back and change it, but there's just too much to fix. You'll have to try to forgive the errors. Sorry!_

* * *

"We didn't have any fancy fishing rods back in my day, we had to use our hands. And we certainly didn't fish for fun, neither. It was work or starve and shrivel up and die on the cold, hard floor. We didn't have any time for fun because we were always working so hard. If you were having any fun, it meant you weren't working hard enough. Me, I started working the same day I left my mother's womb, and I was grateful!"

"Are you having fun now, Chester?" asked Zoey as she finished securing a worm to his line.

"Fun is for lazy young people," said Chester as he cast his line far out in the water. Zoey went back to her line on the other side of the boat.

They were in a little boat on the lake by the woods near her house. The sun was still high in the sky, but it would be setting soon.

Getting Chester into a boat was an ordeal, but he objected to it less than anything else she had suggested. They were having a nice conversation over fishing and lemonade. Actually, it wasn't much of a conversation at all, since all Chester would do was complain.

"Would you like some more lemonade?" asked Zoey after she took a swig from her bottle.

"Now that's what I like to see, whippersnappers respecting their elders."

Zoey refilled his bottle from the pitcher in the cooler while Chester muttered to himself grumpily.

"So Chester, after we're done fishing, is there anything else you'd like to do? Anywhere you'd like to go?"

"You ain't putting me in any old folk's home!"

"No, what? No! I'm just wondering if you have any hobbies or things you enjoy doing. Is there a place you'd like to visit?"

"You just can't wait for me to die, can you?"

"Chester, I'm trying really hard to have a good time with you, but you're making it really difficult. I know you don't like fun and you don't like me very much, but I think we could be friends if you could give me a chance. We never have to do this again if you don't want to, but for just today, could you at least pretend to enjoy yourself?"

Chester thought about it for a minute with a grumpy expression. "I guess we could go to that puppet show in town. But I won't enjoy it!"

"Now was that so hard? You might actually enjoy having fun, you never know."

"I do know that I won't, and if there's any rock and/or roll music there, or if any teenagers are there dancing, you can forget it."

"Of course. Chester, you've got a bite!"

Chester started reeling in his line, and Zoey thought she saw something like excitement in his eyes. He reeled it in, and caught a trout the size of his hand.

"Dagnabit! A runt!" Chester released it back into the water and it swam away quickly. "Fish were bigger way back when, now they're just minnows."

"It's better than anything I've ever caught, and at least it wasn't a boot. I once caught a boot and its pair on the same trip."

They fished for another hour, and then rowed the boat back to shore. Zoey drove them in her car to the local theater, where a ventriloquist was performing. Luckily, they were just in time for his last show. She bought Chester some popcorn and then went to buy their tickets.

The ticket saleswoman was a perky teenager with bubblegum pink spiked hair. Chester glared at her for her wild hair, but she didn't notice.

"Two tickets for the Bob Maloney show," said Zoey.

"It's so nice of you to take your grandpa to see the show," the girl commented.

Comments like these didn't even faze Zoey anymore. Without missing a beat, she replied, "He's old enough to be my grandpa, but he's not."

"Father then? Uncle maybe?"

Zoey laughed it off. Being able to laugh things off was one of the primary requirements of being Mike's girlfriend. "Not even close. He's just a friend of mine."

"Well, it's still nice of you," said the girl. "This show isn't really aimed at anyone under the age of sixty-five."

"I'm sure we'll both have a great time."

The girl handed Zoey their tickets, and she went to fetch Chester as he started throwing popcorn at some birds.

"Dang freeloaders! Go find your own food!"

"Let's go in Chester, or we'll be late."

They both went into the theater, which only had about nine other people in the audience, all senior citizens, but Zoey didn't feel uncomfortable sitting with them. She made sure to find seats that were far away from anyone else, so that if he started complaining, he was less likely to ruin the show for anyone.

The curtains were raised, and a man in his late fifties sat down in a chair in the middle o the stage, and on his lap was the ugliest ventriloquist dummy Zoey had ever seen.

"Look at this crowd, Chuckie!" said Bob. "A lot of people came to see us."

"It's a good thing too," said Chuckie in a high, grating voice. "We flew in just to see this crowd, and boy, are my arms tired!"

Chester, who had been wearing the grumpiest scowl Zoey had ever seen on him, suddenly burst into laughter.

"You get it?" he asked Zoey. "Like he flew like a bird?"

"Yes, I get it Chester."

"Comedy gold right here."

And that was just the beginning. It seemed that Bob and Chuckie lived by the rule that they could only tell the cheesiest jokes. But every single one had Chester nearly bust a gut with laughter, and Zoey was so happy to have finally found something he really enjoyed that it made it possible for her to laugh with him, even at the most cringe-worthy of puns.

After the show, Chester cried for an encore, and told Zoey to give him a nickel. She tipped him a bit more than that.

It took some convincing to get Chester to leave the theater, since he kept demanding more jokes, but eventually she got him to leave with her. There was a freezing wind outside, and Zoey let Chester use her jacket to keep warm.

"That was really fun, we should do it again sometime," said Zoey. "What do you say, Chester? You think we can be friends?"

He was still smiling, but he quickly replaced it with a grouchy frown. "Eh, we'll see."

"That's good enough for me."

* * *

"Go Svetlana, go! Show 'em what you're made of! You got this, girl!"

Zoey stood in the stands cheering as Svetlana performed a series of complicated flips and somersaults before a panel of three judges. Just watching her do all those tricks made Zoey feel dizzy.

Svetlana completed her performance and landed squarely on her feet and struck a dramatic pose. She didn't wobble or have any trouble keeping her balance. The crowd watching cheered, and the judges awarded her with the first place trophy.

After the floor in the gym had cleared, Zoey dashed down the steps in the bleachers and ran over to her. "Congratulations, Svetlana! You won!"

"As if zere were ever any doubt," said Svetlana disinterestedly, as though Zoey had just congratulated her on finishing a bowl of cereal.

"Now that the competition is over, you want to go see a movie or something? Total Warriors 3 came out a few days ago, we could see that. Or we could see a rom-com or a horror flick, what genre do you like, anyway?"

"Do not being silly! Svetlana cannot sit for two hours, she must always keep her body in tip top shape!" said Svetlana as she did some stretches.

"Okay then, no movies. We could go shopping, instead. What do you think of that?"

"Shopping? For what, clothes? I do not zink zis body would look good in a dress," she said with a hint of annoyance.

"Yeah, bad idea. Then, do you want to get something to eat? There's a vegetarian place just a few blocks from here. I hear their veggie burgers are to die for."

"Exercise first, food second."

"All right then. Um… maybe you could teach me a few moves?"

That got Svetlana's attention. She stopped stretching and looked at Zoey. "You are interested in gymnastics, yes?"

"Well, I took ballet lessons when I was kid for about three years, and they're kind of similar."

"Okay, do as Svetlana does!" said Svetlana, finally showing some interest in Zoey. She did ten back flips and landed on one hand. "Now you try!"

"Um, how about we start with something simple, like cartwheels."

"If zat is ze best you can do," shrugged Svetlana.

Svetlana had her do several warm-up stretches so she wouldn't pull any muscles, and then she did several cartwheels in succession, though she had none of Svetlana's grace. She appreciated the effort though and showed her how to do other basic moves, until Zoey was panting for air.

"Let's take a break," she said as she sat down on the bleachers.

"You are not so bad for ze amateur," said Svetlana with a kind smile.

"You know Svetlana," said Zoey after she had finally caught her breath. "It must be so hard living with five guys, never getting any girl time."

"Oh, you have no idea."

Svetlana launched into a rant about the others while Zoey listened patiently. Svetlana had never had another girl to talk to before, and so she was very happy and relieved to be able to spill her soul out to Zoey. There were only a few people left in the gym, and they assumed that she, or he rather (they weren't really sure) was talking about her brothers. They had no idea of the truth.

* * *

Zoey was driving her car with Vito in the passenger seat. He was listening to rap music on the radio, and even though she didn't care for it herself, she didn't try to change the station.

They had been driving for nearly two hours but had barely spoken more than two sentences to each other along the way. Vito normally was a chatterbox, but he wasn't happy about what Zoey was about to make him do. It had taken hours of persuading, and she still couldn't believe she'd managed to get him to agree. But he could always change his mind, which she was very nervous about.

Out of all Mike's alternate personalities, excluding Mal, she had the hardest time getting along with Vito. He didn't like being tied down to just one girl, and he didn't like any of the other rules she asked him to respect, even though most of them were compromises. She couldn't stop him from drinking, but now he wasn't allowed to get drunk, or drive anything after drinking. And that was just the tip of the iceberg. To Vito, all these rules translated to "under no circumstances are you allowed to do anything remotely cool or fun," and so he seldom listened. This was one of those few times he would do what she asked, and she hoped he wouldn't hold it against her forever.

She followed the directions the GPS was giving her and pulled up to a house near the beach.

"I don't have to do this, ya know. You're just _his _dumb girlfriend, you don't got any say in how I live my life. I could kick you right outta this car and drive off and never see you again."

Zoey felt bad about what she was making him do, but it had to be done, and she would not back down on this. "We talked about this, Vito. It's not fair to her, you need to let her go."

Vito glared at her, but he opened the door and stepped out. He slammed it and then went to the door and knocked. Zoey was rather impressed that he remembered to do that instead of just barging in like he normally did.

Anne Maria answered the door. "Vito? Baby is that you? Oh, I knew you'd ditch ole' Red and come back to me sooner or later!"

She threw her arms around him and he went in for a kiss. For a moment, Zoey was afraid he was going to forget or ignore what they'd talked about, but then he pushed her back and said, "We gotta break up, babe."

"What's that, sugah?" she said as she tried to cuddle him, but he wouldn't let her.

"I got a lot of crap goin' on that I can't really get into. Long story short, I can't be your boyfriend. It's not you, and it's actually not me either, but I can't see you anymore."

"Are you pickin' the indie chick over me? Baby, you can do so much better. She ain't pretty enough for you! We're both gorgeous, we're meant to be."

"I couldn't have put it better myself, but we still gotta break up. It's complicated and stupid."

"Fine then! Go be with that red-headed skank!" Anne Maria slapped him and went back inside crying. Vito turned around and walked back to the car, his expression stony.

"I can't believe I let you talk me into doin' that. It's takin' everything in me to not turn around and undo what I just done."

Zoey hugged him, but quickly let him go. "I'm so sorry Vito, I know that must have been very hard. Can you ever forgive me?"

He peered down at her. "We'll see."

Thinking quickly, she said, "You know, we're right by the beach, and the sun's at its peak right now. Why don't we go sunbathe? That tan of yours isn't going to work on itself."

Vito brightened a little. "Well, I could go for some rays. You know anything about surfin'?"

"Not really."

"So many of your precious years, wasted. I'll teach ya to surf, and we'll work on that pearly white skin of yours before ya blind someone."

"I've tried before, but I don't tan, I burn."

Vito patted her shoulder pityingly. "I am so, so sorry. Truly I am. But I can at least teach ya to surf."

"I have always wanted to learn."

"Then you're lucky you got me, sis."

* * *

"So there I was, in the middle of the African savannah. I'd run outta rations and was on my last drop of water. And there was old ugly himself, teeth sharper than knives in the hungriest grin you've ever seen. He got me in his gullet, and I was a goner. Deader than a doornail, I was."

"If you were dead, how are you talking to me now?"

"That's the best part, Sheila. I died, but I lived! He thought he had me, but just before he could swallow me whole I leapt out, wrapped my arms around his neck, and wrestled him to the ground. King of the Beasts, my foot! More like a glorified kitten, if you ask me."

Manitoba Smith was leading Zoey on a hike up the huge mountain by Mike's house that he had been climbing since he was a kid. They would camping up there for the night. They had started hiking before the sun had risen, and they had only stopped once for a very short break, and Zoey was lucky to have gotten him to slow down that much. She wasn't really built for this much hiking and climbing, and certainly not on such a steep mountain, but she was determined to show Manitoba that she could do it. More than once he had offered to carry her the rest of the way, but despite her fatigue and achy muscles, she wasn't about to quit just yet.

"Hey Manitoba, do you think we could take a short break, so I can catch my breath?"

"No can do, didgeridoo. We've wasted enough time already waiting on your grandma legs. If we wait any longer it'll be too late."

"Too late for what?"

"Would it kill you to be patient, Sheila?"

"No, but this climb just might."

They were walking along a narrow ledge with a treacherous drop below. The higher they got, the more excited Manitoba became. He had regaled her with many tales of his past adventures, and though she wondered how many were actually true, she kept quiet and listened to each one.

They reached the end of the ledge and had to climb the mountainside with their hands. Manitoba wouldn't use any safety equipment whatsoever, and so if they fell, they were done for. The snake he had caught earlier hissed warningly, and she was sure it would bite him any second and he would be killed. He had found the snake and wrapped it around his neck like a scarf, but for some reason it hadn't tried to kill him yet.

"Hey Manitoba, have you ever been bitten by the snakes you've caught before?"

"Twice, and once by a black widow. But don't worry, the paramedics were able to restart my heart lickety-split, no harm done. I've actually become immune to certain types of snake venom now, but I'm still working on spider venom. But there's nothing to worry about, Sheila. This is a boa, and they don't have venom."

He reached up to pet the snake, and at that moment, it decided to constrict. He gasped and coughed, and he nearly lost his grip and fell, but he managed to disentangle the snake before it could strangle him. He then patted its head, as though disciplining a child.

"Hey, hey, hey, we're not playing hangman, Bindi. It's not nice to go strangling people, and you're not big enough to eat me anyway." The snake calmed, and he let it coil around his neck again. He rubbed it affectionately and said, "Atta girl, aren't you a beauty. Ain't she a beauty, Sheila?"

"Oh yeah, very pretty."

"You know, I was also bitten by a rabid raccoon once, and an alligator. Good times."

"Yeah, good times," said Zoey as she went over the process of CPR in her head. It looked like they were going to need it by the end of this hike.

She lost her footing and nearly fell to her death, but Manitoba caught her and helped her to regain her footing.

"Did you know I once climbed this mountain to the top blindfolded?" he said.

"Why on earth would you do that?"

"Vito and I had a bet going. I sure showed him, I did."

"You've been doing this since Mike was little? How did you not, you know, die?"

Manitoba looked offended. "You've wounded me, Sheila. Age has no bearing on a man's skill, be he one or one hundred. Sure, we had our share of close calls, but little Mike never had anything to worry about with me in the lead."

Zoey opened her mouth to reply, but Manitoba interrupted her by saying, "Not much farther now, just you wait and see."

Zoey kept following Manitoba, trying not to fall and wondering where exactly he was taking her. He said he had a surprise, and he wouldn't give her any hints. He led her over several more steep ledges and up jagged rocks, and she still could not fathom how he had not plunged to his death as a child, survival expert or not.

Finally, they reached the top and before them was a narrow path that actually looked safe. Manitoba dashed up the path and Zoey tried to keep up. He reached the top before her and said, "Hurry Sheila, you're gonna miss it!"

Breathing heavily, Zoey picked up the pace, ignoring her protesting muscles. When she finally reached the top, she saw mostly rocks and a few trees here and there. But when she saw what Manitoba was talking about, her jaw dropped and she could only stare in wonder.

The sun was just beginning to set, and it cast a brilliant glow on all the houses and trees below. The clouds were pink and gold, it looked like a master painter had painted the sky. Zoey had never seen anything like this before. At least, not in real life. She was very glad now that she had made the trip; to prove that she could, to see this view, and to spend time with Manitoba.

"Stunning, ain't it?" asked Manitoba, looking at her expectantly to gauge her reaction. He was not disappointed.

"It's beautiful," she whispered. "Now I see why you came here so often."

"I came here the first time looking for treasure. Mike was barely outta diapers then. Didn't find any treasure, but I kept comin' back anyway. It was a quiet place to get away to. Down below in real life, back when Mike was just a tyke, he'd talk to us all the time. We were his friends then, not nuisances like we are now. But other people would make fun of him for talking to himself, and the adults would reprimand him and try to make him stop talking to us and start talking to other kids his age. It got him down a lot, so I'd bring us up here where we wouldn't be bothered. Svetlana got to practice her mad flipping, Vito got to tan and exercise, and we could all talk without anyone listening in. It was the best."

Zoey didn't speak for a moment. Mike didn't like talking about his childhood much, but the others would sometimes mention bits and pieces of it in passing. They all had a tendency to exaggerate things, but when they spoke of Mike's past, she didn't doubt that they were telling the truth.

"I'm glad you're all getting along better now," she finally said.

Manitoba just shrugged.

"Thanks for taking me hiking," she added.

"Don't thank me, you only came to bribe me, like you've been doin' all the others. After today, you'll never go on another expedition with me again, will ya?"

"No really, I really enjoyed this hike. The view is breathtaking, and it was nice to get to spend time with you. You're pretty cool, Manitoba. In your own ways, you all are. I'm honored to get to spend time with all of you and be your friend."

Manitoba grinned and cleared his throat. "You know, you're the first person I've brought up here. No one else comes up here 'cause I started rumors of bears years ago. There aren't any for miles around, but rumors are mighty powerful weapons. But don't think this gives you permission to make this a tourist attraction."

"Don't worry, your secret's safe with me."

"So, uh, you think you'll ever go on any more adventures with me, Sheila?"

"Give me some time to regain feeling in my feet, and we'll see. For now though, how about another tale of adventure? Surely you must have one more tucked away in there somewhere."

He grinned and said, "Hold onto something Sheila, this next one is gonna blow you away. So there I was, wandering the Gobi desert, the sun beating down on my head. I had just rescued a gorgeous woman from an arranged marriage and her viper of a fiancé, but we were both near death. I couldn't hear or see anything 'cause every hole in my head was packed full of sand…"

Zoey sat listening to his story with a smile on her lips as the sun went down and darkness surrounded her. They needed to set up their tents, but she would let him finish his story first.

* * *

Mike was caught in a deadly struggle to tie his bowtie, but alas, his dastardly foe could not be beat.

There was a knock on the door, and Cameron came in, his bowtie neatly in place. In his hands was a pack of red socks.

"Zoey said to give these to you, in case you get cold feet," he said, looking nervous.

Mike laughed, but it had a hysterical edge to it. Cameron noticed his difficulty with the tie and fixed it for him.

"You look about as nervous as I feel," said Mike, attempting to lighten up the situation. "I'm the one who's supposed to feel like throwing up, not you."

"Are you kidding? I've never been a best man before! What if I do it wrong and screw everything up?"

"Your job's easy, you just have to stand in front of me if someone tries to shoot me."

Cameron let out a little squeak.

"I'm just joking, Cam."

Cameron let out a sigh of relief. "Did you know your hands are shaking?"

Mike looked and, sure enough, they were shaking. "Oh, yeah. I've lost feeling in them too."

"There's no way you're going to get that ring on Zoey's finger if you can't control your hands. Why are you freaking out so much?"

"You know why."

"Have the others come out or spoken to you today?"

"No, not since last night at the bachelor party."

Geoff, though they had never competed together in Total Drama, had insisted on throwing him a wild bachelor party, along with Cameron, Owen, Tyler, Duncan, DJ, Cody, Brick, Noah, Harold, Sam, B, Trent, and Izzy (who had to be shooed away). Mike remembered bits and pieces, because the others kept coming out despite not being triggered. Exciting events tended to have that effect on them.

"I think Duncan recorded you and the others all having control at once, or at least, that's what it looked like. It was very trippy."

"But what if one of them takes over during the ceremony? What if one of them says something terrible and humiliating? What if they don't want me to get married, and so they take control and make me run out of the church and leave Zoey at the altar? What if Vito punches the pastor in the face? What if Chester or Manitoba kisses Zoey, instead of me? What if Mal takes over and kisses her? Would he be legally married to her, instead of me? Can that happen? How does marriage work for freaks like me!?"

By this point, Mike was hyperventilating. All he could think about was Mal and Zoey together. Cameron smacked him and said, "Cool it, Mike! You're not a freak, and even if one of them does take control, the wedding will still go on and you will be the husband and Zoey will be the wife, and you will both be incredibly happy together! So quit freaking out already, you're making me freak out and I'm not the one getting married!"

Mike took a deep breath to try to calm down, but it wasn't working. "I just want everything to be perfect for Zoey. For the longest time, I thought I'd never get to have a normal life. While everyone around me started getting girlfriends and boyfriends, I knew that no one would ever want me because of my condition, and I had accepted that and I was fine. But then I met Zoey, and I realized that I wasn't okay with being alone, and that maybe, just maybe, I deserved a bit of happiness in spite of everything. Nothing's ever gone my way before, and after so much good, I know that the bad can't be too far away. I just want more good day."

"Zoey said she had a plan to keep the others quiet during the ceremony. Did she ever tell you what it was?"

"No, she said she'd tell me later if it worked."

"She's sweet and she's tough. She's got everything she needs to grow old with you, so stop worrying about her and start focusing on your breathing. You won't need the others to ruin your wedding if you pass out at the altar from nerves."

Cameron left the room and was replaced by Mike's adoptive parents. His father, Jack, was about a foot shorter than his wife and balding, but he still had his beloved moustache. His mother, Holly, had short blonde hair and a warm smile.

"Mike, you can take off that bowtie. Zoey's run off."

"What!?" he cried.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding! Let your old man have his fun."

His mother elbowed Jack in the chest, and then said to Mike, "We really came in here to congratulate you and wish you luck. We never doubted you for a second."

Mike raised an eyebrow skeptically. "For real?"

"Well, if we're being honest, no, we did have our doubts. Now that you're grown and getting married, I think it's time for your mother and I to come clean and be completely straight with you."

"That sounds ominous. Should I be scared?"

"Maybe a little," said Holly.

"Let me tell you a story, Mike, about your birth. But since I wasn't there for your birth, I'll skip ahead about a decade and start with when we first met you," said Jack. "For years we wanted children, but we couldn't have any of our own. We decided to adopt instead, and we prayed that God would show us the child He had picked out for us. We had had foster children before, but none as, um, interesting as you. The first time we saw you, you were in some kind of white pajamas, barefoot, and filthy with crazy hair. You were real scrawny too, but taller than any other kid I'd ever seen your age. You insisted you were eight, but the doctor who did your check-up told us your skeletal makeup was that of a ten year old. That wasn't the only thing you were confused about, you had no idea where you came from. You were terrified and lost, but also very sweet, and we decided that you were the one for us. You were the answer to our prayers, but there were times when it felt like God had pulled a prank on us.

"Now, when they told us about your disorder, I didn't believe them at first, I thought you just had an overactive imagination. I'm ashamed to say it, but back then I didn't believe in half the mental disorders you hear about on the news. I thought it was a ploy by the drug companies to make money by selling drugs to people who only had quirks and didn't really need it. Holly bought a book about MPD and insisted I read it, but I didn't see the point. But then we were watching the Olympics one night and all of a sudden you started flitting around the room, jumping off of stuff and doing flips and referring to yourself as a girl. I ran to our room and grabbed that book and didn't put it down until I had read it cover to cover."

"He finished it all in one night. It's the most reading he's ever done," said Holly.

"Back then, your other personalities were impossible. They had a talent of making even the most mundane tasks an ordeal. Everything from the radio station in the car, to the movie we watched on family night, down to even the shoes on your feet, they all had their own opinions and they weren't shy about making them known. Although, I always did get a kick out of it when we would go out to eat. It was kind of a bad idea, but we wanted you to feel like your life was as normal as possible. You would try to order something simple like chicken strips but Vito would take over and change your order to a triple bacon cheeseburger. Svetlana would change it again to a salad, and Manitoba wouldn't eat anything he didn't catch himself and so he would tell the waiter to get lost and the poor flustered waiter would just be standing there trying to keep up while Chester yelled at him."

"And don't even get me started on clothes shopping," added Holly.

"Things only got worse when it was time for school. Every year we had to battle the school board because they thought you shouldn't be allowed in public school, but we won out every time."

Mike smiled a little at the memory of his devout Christian mother cussing out the members of the school board every time they tried to keep him out of school or put him in a special needs class. She still had a fierce reputation in the community, despite usually being a soft-spoken woman.

"But the other kids found out about your quirk, and they never cut you a break. We complained to the principal every time the other kids messed with you, but they never did anything about it."

He had no fond memories of school. The other kids hadn't "found out," their teachers had told them to warn them. At first, he had just been beaten up by the bullies, until Vito got sick of it and fought back, and won, shaming the bullies. They stopped beating on him after that, but they would instead frustrate him or ask Svetlana to perform for them, purposefully triggering his alters. Or, the others would sometimes do it themselves and embarrass him on purpose. He wasn't freed until his parents pulled him out of school when he was sixteen.

"You remember that dance where that girl asked you out as part of a prank by the others?"

"Don't remind me." Lucy, the hottest girl in school, had asked him out, and he couldn't believe it. But when he'd showed up to pick her up at her house, the guys in his class were there to pelt him with eggs and imitate his other personalities while Lucy recorded it. He had never been so humiliated in all his life.

"There's something we never told you about that. Your mother and I were so furious about the bullies and the school's refusal to do anything about it that we took matters into our own hands. You remember my friend Bob with the cement mixer?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I called him up and told him what happened, and he and I took his mixer and poured cement into the cars of all the kids involved with the prank. Some of them had really nice cars, too. Darn shame."

"Are you serious? You actually did that?"

"What, you didn't think cement is for sidewalks, did you? No, it's for revenge. It's not like you weren't going through enough crap already, you didn't need their help. We have a confession to make, son. We didn't pull you out of school. You see, the police couldn't charge us with anything because there wasn't enough evidence, so the school expelled you instead."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"We were trying to be a good influence, we didn't want to set a bad example," said Holly.

"I think they learned their lesson," said Jack. "There was no honor in what we did, but oh, did it feel good. But the first night after we pulled you out and started homeschooling you, I prayed to God and I said, 'Lord, you heal the sick and free people from their demons. Won't you free my son from his demons? He's a good boy, he doesn't deserve all this. You could just snap your fingers and his personalities would be gone. He wouldn't have to deal with the drugs or the psychiatrists or the bullying ever again. Why won't you free him and, you know, fix him?'"

Mike knew his parents prayed for him often about his condition. He wished he could have been normal for them.

"And then that same night, Vito decided to go to a party, get drunk, and do dangerous stunts on a motorcycle. He didn't get caught thank goodness, in fact the only reason we knew about it at all was because he wouldn't stop bragging about it. That was a time when your personalities were more in control than you were, and I started to wonder if we hadn't made a mistake in keeping you. It seemed that maybe we had bitten off more than we could chew, and I wasn't sure what to do. But we kept you around anyway, though I'll admit, there were times when I wished I could just run away from it all. You eventually learned to keep your personalities mostly contained and they only came out under certain circumstances, but it was still pretty stressful."

"And then you went and got on Total Drama against our wishes and the wishes of your doctor. You don't know how scared we were that something terrible might happen. We were sure your disorder would end up humiliating you on international TV, or worse. We didn't think anything good would come out of it," said Holly.

"Yeah, that was pretty stupid, wasn't it? But everything did work out, in the end."

"That is true, and you got the girl, so we can't really complain. But please don't sign up for any more reality shows, especially when Chris Mclean is the host."

"Oh don't worry, I won't be."

"Speaking of Zoey, neither your mother nor I thought you would ever find someone patient and understanding enough to be your wife, and we didn't expect much else beyond that, either. We learned to hope, instead of expect. But here you are, about to get married to the second most beautiful woman in the world," he said with a wink. "I have never been so happy to be proved wrong. I spent a long time hoping you would get better, but recently I realized you don't need to be any better than you already are. You're perfect the way God made you, Mike, quirks and all."

"I kind of miss your personalities," said Holly. She tried to hold back the tears but they fell anyway. "When you were living with us, we completely forgot the meaning of the word 'boring.' It's too quiet with you gone, and very boring. Make sure you come see us often, we could use a little chaos and excitement."

"Mom, are you crying?"

"No, you're just so handsome in that tux that you've moved me to tears." Holly tried to wipe the tears away and fix his hair. "You need a haircut. You came to us with crazy hair, and you've still got crazy hair."

"Leave him alone, Holly. I've always been jealous of that sticky-upy hair, especially since I don't have any."

"By the way Mike, I've been meaning to tell you, I've been taking online classes to become a counselor for families with children with mental disorders."

"Mom, that's awesome! And you've got nearly twenty years' experience, who better to counsel people than you? You're going to do great."

"I'm so glad you're pleased, I was afraid you wouldn't like it."

"Of course I do! I want you guys to have lives that extend beyond my disorder."

Mike paused a moment, then, before he could stop himself, asked, "Was it worth it? I mean, do you wish you had chosen a normal kid, instead of the one with the mental disorder? Was the sacrifice worth it?"

His parents looked at each other for a moment before answering.

"Let's see," said Jack. "Brain scans, drugs, psychiatrists, and property damage equal not a lot of money for vacations."

"We used to be respected in the community," said Holly. "People looked up to us. Nowadays they stare and talk behind our backs. We lost a lot of friends after they met you."

"All for six weirdo kids for the price of one. I don't know Holly, was it worth it?"

"Hm… Absolutely. What about you?"

"No doubt in my mind."

"But you gave up so much for me!"

"That's what parents do, give their children what they need and fight tooth and nail for them every step of the way," said Holly. "It was worth it to see you here today, marrying the girl of your dreams. I don't know how you managed to find this girl, but she's an answer to prayer."

"The flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all."

"Dad, you stole that from _Mulan_."

"Doesn't make it any less true. Mike, we tried to be perfect parents, but we didn't always succeed and we know that. But I just want you to understand that if I could go back and change our decision to keep you, I would make the same decision as before. If I could change anything in our time together, through good times and bad, I wouldn't change a single second. You've always been more trouble than you're worth, but when we saw you the first time, we saw a bright, kind, handsome kid with a lot of potential, and you didn't let us down, not once. You're my boy, you'll always be my boy, and I am so proud of you."

It never ceased to amaze Mike the stark contrast between his birth parents and his adoptive parents. His biological parents had done everything in their power to make his life a living hell, but Jack and Holly always strived to be there for him and give him the best chance in life. It was a reminder that even though the world would always have terrible people in it, there were kind people out there, too. You just had to look hard enough.

Mike hugged his father and mother tightly and said, "I love you guys."

"You'd better get on out there, don't want to keep the bride waiting," said Holly.

His parents left him to finish preparing. He felt better, but he was still very anxious. He slipped on Zoey's socks even though they clashed with his shoes. He checked his appearance in the mirror six times to make sure he hadn't forgotten to wear pants, and then he and Cameron went out to the altar. His hands were still shaking and he was sure he was going to throw up, but he took several deep breaths and forced himself to calm down.

The church was stunning. It was after dark, and all the lights were off inside, and was instead lit with dozens of candles, their shadows flickering on the walls. It was like they were sitting in the night sky, surrounded by stars.

Out in the audience, he got reassuring smiles from his friends from Total Drama, the ones who'd bothered to show up, anyway. He got thumbs-up from all the guys from his bachelor party. The pastor patted his shoulder.

"Nervous, son?"

"Is it that obvious?" he said as he tried to smile.

"Don't worry, the first wedding I ever did, I was so scared that I would do something wrong that I messed up the words, tripped over my own two feet, and knocked the bride over. It's a wonder anyone ever asked me to do another wedding, yet here I am. You'll do fine, and I'll try not to trip."

"Thanks," said Mike, grateful for the encouragement. The pastor didn't know about his disorder, would he have said the same thing if he did?

Suddenly, the chatter from the audience quieted and they stood to their feet. Duncan and Courtney's three year old daughter Olivia came down the aisle dropping rose petals, and right behind her Zoey was being walked down the aisle by her father. Mike gulped at the sight of him; neither of her parents had been ecstatic to find out their daughter was marrying a guy with a mental disorder, but they hadn't protested or tried to keep her from him. Zoey insisted they liked him more than they let on, and that they would treat any guy this way, but he had his doubts.

But his eyes quickly slid off her father and onto her. Zoey's hair wasn't in its usual pigtails, but instead let down under a white, shimmering veil. She was holding a bouquet of roses that matched her hair. She was radiant in her flowing white gown, she looked like a winter rose. Her face was beaming, she was practically bouncing, impatient to meet Mike at the altar.

They reached the altar and her father kissed her gently on the cheek. He grabbed Mike's arm and whispered in his ear, "You take care of my little girl, you hear me?"

"I will, sir."

He patted him on the back, released him and took his seat. Zoey stood before Mike and took out a piece of blue cloth and wrapped one end around her hand, and he wrapped the other end around his own. It was unorthodox, but Zoey had insisted and Mike liked the idea. As she smiled up at him, he didn't realize he was crying until he felt a tear slide down his cheek.

The pastor went through the vows, and then Gwen and Trent's five year old son Tom hurried over with the rings. Though his fingers were still shaking, Mike managed to slide the ring onto her finger on the first try.

"You may now kiss the bride."

Mike was amazed that none of his alters had interrupted the ceremony, they hadn't even spoken inside his head. He had been practicing an apology in his head for anything they might do, but they had been completely silent. For the first time in years, he was experiencing what it was like to just be Mike, no one else. But the wedding wasn't over yet.

He lifted the veil and Zoey jumped and wrapped her arms around him. She pressed her lips against his in fiery passion, and he kissed her back, savoring the sweet taste of her lips. They had kissed plenty of times before, but this one somehow felt different. He didn't want it to end.

The audience clapped and cheered, and the two ran down the aisle as everyone pelted them with rice. Zoey threw her bouquet backwards, and was caught by none other than Heather herself. Zoey hadn't even known she was there; she had invited her but hadn't expected her to show up. Alejandro raised an eyebrow, holding their little accident Alejito in his arms. Heather gasped, but she quickly regained her composure and said, "That was strategic."

Mike and Zoey didn't hear anymore as they got into the car that had been vandalized by all the guys.

As they drove off, one of Mike's hands on the wheel and the other holding Zoey's, she asked, "So where are we going?"

"Camp Wawanakwa. I thought since that's where we first met, it would be the perfect place for our honeymoon."

Zoey had been taking a sip of water, but she spat it out and whipped her head around to stare at her new husband. "Excuse me?'

"Kidding, kidding! That was a mean joke, I'm sorry," Mike said with a laugh as she punched him playfully on the arm.

"We should go back someday, actually. Show our kids and grandkids how we met. Not until we're old and senile, though."

Mike considered the possibility of children; he wasn't sure how he felt about it.

"So where are we really going?"

"How does Hawaii sound? Our plane takes off in about half an hour, and it's nowhere near Wawanakwa."

"That sounds wonderful."

Mike waited a moment, then said, "So, what was your plan, and how did it work so perfectly?"

"It was simple, really. I've been triggering each of your personalities for the past month and giving them days to have to themselves. I took Chester fishing and we saw a ventriloquist act, I let Svetlana teach me some gymnastics which I still haven't completely recovered from and we had some girl time, Vito took care of some unfinished business and we hung out at the beach and he taught me to surf, and Manitoba showed me your secret place on the mountain. I let them have playtime on the condition that they would let us have our special day and our honeymoon alone and uninterrupted, and they agreed."

"How did you know it would work?"

"The others aren't unreasonable, but no one likes to be cooped up inside forever. They'll behave if you give them some time outside to be themselves every now and again. They're okay waiting for their turn, because now they know that there will be a next time. I also needed to prove to them, and to myself, that it is possible for us to get along."

"I'm sorry you had to do all that just to have a normal wedding."

"What are you talking about? I enjoyed it, it was actually really fun. It's not enough to give the others free time, they need someone to hang out with. Everyone needs some attention and affection, even your alters. They're like the brothers and sisters I never had, and I think they like me."

"Have I ever told you you're the coolest person on the planet?"

"You could stand to mention it more."


End file.
